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My Takes on (Almost) Every Spirit Phone Song
Lifetime Achievement Award
From a Narrative Standpoint, Evil Corporation X is taking Pop Stars and is reincarnating/cloning them for their own monetary Gain. From a more meaningful look at the Song, its about the Real World’s abuse of Pop Stars and their “Churning out” of them for Monetary gain, which Neil views as Evil (As an independent… artist? Internet Person?).
Conspiracy Theorist is a regular caller into this AM Radio broadcast (Which we will call Spirit AM for the Remainder of this Post), and they avidly proclaim his many theories, believing themself to be right, and they eat up a lot of time on Spirit AM. Their theories include Ancient Aliens, Space Nazis, UFOs, and many other Paranormal “Truths”. There are also Subtexts of a Romantic Desire by the Theorist for the Host of the Radio Show, who they see as this equal figure to themself.
Cabinet Man is about an Inventor, who gets themselves transplanted inside an Arcade Machine inside their Workshop. Presumed Dead, the Cabinet gets sold off to an Arcade. They become a Popular Attraction at the Arcade, because of their Immense Difficulty and Forgiveness towards players, always giving more chances. They also Despise Cheaters and Crooks, and are clearly angry at the Vandals in the Final Scene. Whether or not the Cabinet Man hurts the Vandals in any way is unclear.
No Eyed Girl
No Eyed Girl is about a Mortal falling in love with a Lovecraftian God-Entity, and dedicates themself to the Entity in Exchange for the Entity’s Love and Affection. Unclear whether or not The Entity Accepts their Love, but judging by the Final Verse and the Fade out, the Relationship probably goes on in one form or another.
When He Died
About the investigation of a Man’s Death, this Man, who may or may not be the Mortal from No Eyed Girl based on the strange, mystical things described in the Song. The Wood Floor around his Dead body was scorched, his Body was filled with some kind of Scorpion, and there where symbols on the Floor. He had many Skulls, although his was never found (Most Likely, his Head was intact, just no skull was in there). He also had Statues of his children, who where missing, that cried Blood. The Investigators called his only known relative, his “wife”, who was delighted at the Death, and then had a Record of Laughing play through the Telephone line at the Investigators.
His Shed included a Clown Painting with the Date of his Death on it, further backing up this was a Predisposed Event. The Final Major Discovery is the Doomsday Prophecies written on his Spine, which foretold “Neverending Madness” would come soon.
A Grave Robber digs up A Dead Woman’s body, with intentions of turning it into a Medicinal Concoction of Some kind. However, the Narrator of the Song falls madly in desire with the Corpse, but insists it has no appeal to them. They go through with turning the Woman into Medicine, but after it is implied they have Sex with it.
This song was based off of a Real Supernatural Entity called “Gef”. It appears to have no bearing on any other Song in the Album.
An Alien (presumably) Crash Lands on Earth, Encounters an Early Human Civilization, and inadvertently progresses the Growth of the Species. This is proof to the Ancient Aliens theory mentioned earlier by the Conspiracy Theorist. Meaning that the Theoristic was correct on the Aliens AND UFO points, at least.
Soft Fuzzy Man
A Smoke entity entices a Human Woman into becoming it’s partner, through convincing her it is superior to everything else in the World. Judging by the “Aaaaaaa” and the Outro, it is presumed that this “Soft Fuzzy Man” succeeded in its Attempts to seduce her.
As Your Father I expressly Forbid it
A Father reprimands a Son for his loud Techno Music, then informing him that his Grandfather is coming over for Dinner with their Family, and the Father warns the Son to be Cautious, and that his Grandfather won’t understand his Talkings about the Internet.
The Son then proceeds to get caught up in allegations by his Father of Stealing his Hair Pills, which he then finds and meekly gets apologized to, but then gets reprimanded again, and a warning in case he ever did.
More Broadly, its about the Father’s constant Harping on his Son, and as we will see in the next Song,
I earn my Life
Fading in Perfectly from AYFIEFI, the Son, now the Consumer, is now a Workaholic, Emotionless, Mirror of his Father. He now is also losing his Hair, and is standing on a Chair to commit suicide by hanging. He is now Married with a Wife and Children and can no longer stand the pressure of Society. He “quits” his job, and life as a whole, by hanging himself, and in his last moments he laments over the unknowns of Life, pleading to be measured enough for himself to Understand, as he was never taught the right skills to succeed in life. He sees his Bills as all his Is, all of his Goals, and what he truly is forced to do in Life. He ends himself, leaving his Family with the burdens of his life and economic existence.
The Narrator, presumably the Consumer’s Son, who we will call Reagan, spends the song spouting economic theory to a Girl in a Chance to impress her. He explains that, in his view, Trickle-Down is the system that works best for all people. Through all this, though, he still explains that the Girl is amazing and that she alone is deserving of an entire shift in economics just to make her happy.
Taken by Some Spirit, either Paranormal or Psychological, the Narrator - the Builder, is taken by a Fascination to build a gigantic monument - rectangular in nature - to something. They claim to have gotten this Fascination by Staring at the Moon. They keep having Visions, and see this Monument to be above humankind in nature.
Spiral of Ants
The Finale of the Album, and in Some ways the Finale and Beginning of the Capitalism Arc, Spiral of Ants compares society to Ants, and says that Capitalism has ants stuck in a Death Spiral, being forced to Dance in Circles until everyone dies and society ceases to exist. This Death Spiral causes a resurgence of something else, fading out of the nothingness into a New cycle of Greed as an effect of Capitalism. It fades out, as the Working “ant” dies, and fades into Lifetime Achievement Award, where the Upper Echelon is remade, irreplaceable in nature (having to be remade again and again) and made to prey on the ant below.
You’re at the Party
Although not a core part of the Album, this Bonus Track is included in the Vinyl release and is the Very last track on all platforms for a Good Reason, reflecting a lot of the Supernatural themes and themes of death throughout the Rest of the Album. The Protaganist, the Dreamer, is kept awake - or at least is perceived to be - all night by a Large Party in their Neighborhood. After invading their House, they lock their door and try their hardest to wait it out. After having their window broken and being taken by an Entity to the Party downstairs. The Dreamer has a great time at this party and passes out - and dies irl - after some amount of time. “Waking Up”, they realize the Sun isn’t rising, and that all the Birds are dead outside. The “Dream” won’t stop, and the Dreamer is hung over. Confusing Weather, Feelings, and Time happens all at once. The Dreamer changes into whatever Entity drug it out before, and tries to refuse the fate.
But in the End, they’re at the Party. This is their Afterlife. And the Party Participants? A Different kind of dead person in the Afterlife. People who where good enough to be not be sentenced to a fate of dragging people down to Death.
// that is the entirety of what I consider the “Canonity” of Spirit Phone, but I have some Analasyses of Angry People, Crisis Actors, and Redesign your Logo, too //
Starting out as a Commentary on how Society has caused us to hate each other so much that we are eternally Angry. But you can See where Niel went off the Rails with the Song. He shows the Growth of an Angry Child in this Angry Society, but then Neil Goes on this Nature Tapes-esque Rant off about how the Child is killing you, one of her parents, with a Gun. This devolves quickly into being ridiculous and using Babies With Guns as a Device of its humour. However, near the end, it reveals the “Angry People” to be Lycanthropes, which further derails the critique of Capitalism. Or Strengths it. Unclear.
“A crisis actor is an actor who plays the role of a person in critical condition, typically for medical training videos. There is a conspiracy theory that these crisis actors appear and act as disaster victims in major tragedies.
This theory is strangely comforting to some people, for it would prove that major tragedies are staged events orchestrated by elites, rather than the result of an unfair and turbulent world where innocent people die. To them, malevolent gods are better than none.” - Kyle Hart, Youtube Comments Section on the Crisis Actor upload
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This is based off the entirely deranged Pepsi Logo Design Document found here.
// And that is all of my Spirit Phone Narrative Theories, and I got to say Neil is a Genius… or maybe a Crackhead, for making this monster of an Album that also fucking Slaps.